Why I Stopped Praying for Clarity
By Ruth Pack
We’ve all heard the admonitions “Be careful what you wish for” and “Never pray for patience.” But more problematic for me is my tendency to ask God for clarity in unclear situations … and my ensuing frustration when it doesn’t come.
When my oldest was in high school, a well-meaning adult encouraged her not to worry about her future by reminding her it was in God’s hands. As my daughter said to me later, “I know that, but at the end of the day, I’m the one who has to send in the college applications!” She truly wanted to know God’s will and to see a clearly marked path that He wanted her to take. God was merciful and gave her clarity in small doses, and it all worked out in the end, but it was an arduous process that took many leaps of faith on her part. Even now she’s struggling with big life decisions and craving clarity in a sea of uncertainty. How many times have I cried out to God on her behalf, asking Him for clarity, then becoming resentful and discouraged when He didn’t deliver it?
Please understand: I’m not saying that it’s wrong to ask for clarity. Proverbs 3:6 says, “In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” And if you pray for clarity, God may in fact send you a lightning bolt, and you’ll know exactly what to do.
But for me, praying for clarity had become a default, a throwaway prayer.
Honestly, clarity for me meant a nice, neatly laid out plan ready for my approval. This totally missed the point: if I received clarity, maybe I wouldn’t need as much faith. If I could see the plan laid out in front of me, maybe I wouldn’t rely on God as much, if at all. Maybe it really was just a churchy-sounding way of demanding God’s direction rather than seeking God Himself. No wonder He stopped answering that prayer.
I confess that when I stopped praying for clarity, I became a bit fatalistic for a while, thinking it didn’t matter what I prayed for or if I prayed at all, because God’s plan would unfold regardless. But that was also missing the point; first, Scripture commands us to “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 ESV), and second, if I don’t pray, I’m not acknowledging God’s sovereignty over the situation and I’m a lot less likely to see Him in the outcome. Then one morning, God brought James 1:5 to mind (“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”), and I started to think: maybe what I actually needed to pray for was wisdom, not clarity. Wisdom doesn’t replace faith; it requires it.
Now, I’m not talking about earthly wisdom. According to gotquestions.org, wisdom is “the ability to discern or judge what is true, right, or lasting.” I know people who exhibit this type of wisdom without knowing the Lord, though their definition of good judgment may not mesh with the Bible. But godly wisdom has at its heart God Himself; even when we can’t see the path in front of us, God’s wisdom lets us discern what is true, righteous, and everlasting because He is all three. Also, earthly wisdom will not prevail; in Isaiah 29:14 God says, “the wisdom of their wise men shall perish, and the discernment of their discerning men shall be hidden.” And we can’t ask for wisdom with skepticism. James 1:5 is very encouraging, but in typical James fashion, verses 6-8 go on to say, “But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord.” Asking for wisdom isn’t a default or a throwaway; it requires faith that God will provide it. And acting in wisdom requires faith that He is in control and working alongside us in every circumstance.
I wish I could give you a list of examples of how this has worked, but it’s a new practice for me and I’ll have to get back to you. I can say that I feel God’s peace guarding my heart when I pray for wisdom rather than clarity. I hear His words coming out of my mouth, not mine. I see the path a little more clearly with each step. Some paths are lit brightly and fully, while others are too messy to clear up with a lightning bolt, but I try to walk in His wisdom wherever He leads.
Ruth Pack is a wife, mother, worship leader, musician, registered nurse, and writer who lives in southern New Hampshire.