5 Ways to Not Burn Out in Ministry
By Kristi Stoughton
Let’s be honest, friends. Serving in ministry here in New England requires a special kind of stamina. We have that famous Yankee work ethic, combined with a deep spiritual need in our communities. As women leaders, we often add another layer to that: the instinct to nurture everyone, fix every problem, and bake homemade gluten-free muffins for the volunteer appreciation breakfast at 2 a.m.
Here at By Design, we are passionate about training women for leadership, but more importantly, we want to support you so you can sustain that leadership
I remember a distinct moment early in my ministry when I hit a wall. I was juggling leading a Bible study, preparing four hour-long sessions to teach at a retreat, and organizing a women’s luncheon at my church. I found myself crying in the church storage closet because I couldn't find the “right” kind of centerpieces for the luncheon. It wasn't about centerpieces. It was about having nothing left in the tank.
If you are pouring yourself out for the Kingdom, you are at risk for burnout. It’s an occupational hazard of caring deeply.
Here at By Design, we are passionate about training women for leadership, but more importantly, we want to support you so you can sustain that leadership. We need you to be healthy spiritually, emotionally, and physically.
Here are five tips for keeping your flame bright without burning down the house.
1. Embrace the Holy “No”
Women in ministry often suffer from the “Martha Syndrome” – too busy serving Jesus to actually sit with Him. We fear disappointing people. But remember: a “no” to one thing is a “yes” to something better … like sanity! Saying “no” isn't selfish; it's strategic stewardship of the energy God gave you.
2. Schedule “Unproductive” Joy
Ministry can become very task-oriented. When was the last time you did something just because it brought you joy, with no agenda attached? Go for a hike in the White Mountains, take a pottery class, or read a fun book. Joy is restorative fuel. And it’s important to actually schedule a time because if it’s not on your calendar, it won’t happen.
3. Remember the Broom Tree (1 Kings 19)
This is my favorite biblical example of burnout. The great prophet Elijah, after a massive spiritual victory, runs for his life, collapses under a broom tree, and prays to die. He is done.
God doesn't lecture him on his lack of faith. God sends an angel to give him warm bread and let him sleep. Then, the angel lets him sleep again. Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is take a nap and eat a sandwich. Physical depletion often masquerades as a spiritual crisis.
4. Delegate (It’s Discipleship!)
We often hold onto tasks because “it's faster if I just do it myself” or we want it done perfectly. But hoarding ministry robs other women of the chance to use their gifts. Delegation isn't dumping work; it's training future leaders. Drop the superwoman cape; it’s heavy and it gets caught in doors.
5. Find Safe People Outside Your Ministry
You need friends who love you, not because you are a “leader,” but just because you are you. You need a safe space to vent where what you say won't end up as a prayer request gossip item. Find people who aren’t impressed by your title and will tell you when you need to slow down.
Keep serving beautifully, sisters. But remember to let the Good Shepherd tend to your soul first.
Kristi Stoughton is the Associate Director of By Design. She is a native of New Hampshire, where she currently resides with her husband Brian in a little lakeside cottage. They take great joy in their two sons, daughter-in-law, and baby granddaughter. As a Christian speaker, Kristi has a passion for people to know God’s love deeply. She is an MDiv student at Fuller Seminary and is enjoying every minute. Kristi loves playing her guitar and singing on her church’s worship team as well as serving with her musical “sister chicks” as the worship team for women’s retreats and other events.