5 Ways to Grow in Your Prayer Life
By Kristi Stoughton
Sisters, as women who are called to lead, we often operate from a deep place of competence and capability. We manage the budget, we coordinate the volunteers, we run the Bible study. We are experts in execution. But prayer is where we lay down our expertise and surrender control to the One who guides our steps. It is the core of our spiritual practices, not just a line item on our spiritual to do list.
Here in New England, we are used to rugged independence. We are good at getting things done ourselves. But prayer is the exact opposite. It is an invitation to depend entirely on God, to bring Him our requests, our praise, and even our complaints. It is not about our effort; it is about His presence. A strong prayer life is not just a nice spiritual extra; it is the very breath of effective, Spirit-led leadership. Without it, we are just running on fumes.
I once spent an entire week trying to solve a complicated ministry logistics problem with spreadsheets and phone calls. I was frustrated, exhausted, and getting nowhere. I finally stopped, pulled away from my computer, and simply prayed, “Lord, I have run out of ideas. Yours are better.” Within ten minutes, a solution I had completely overlooked came to mind. It was a humbling reminder: we are called to partner with God, not just work for Him.
“Pray without ceasing.” This command from 1 Thessalonians 5:17 can feel daunting in our busy lives! But what if growing your prayer life is not about perfection, but about presence?
Here are five ways that have helped me, and many other women leaders, grow a more vibrant, consistent prayer life.
1. Start Small and Simple (The “Popcorn Prayer” Method)
We often think prayer has to be this hour long, eloquent monologue. Not so! Start with “popcorn prayers” throughout your day. Short bursts of gratitude, quick requests for wisdom, even a sigh of “Help me, Jesus.” These tiny moments build a habit and remind you that God is always accessible. The Bible tells us to “pray without ceasing.” This method helps us to do that, even in the middle of our very busy days.
2. Follow the A.C.T.S. Method
This classic acronym is a wonderful guide when you feel stuck:
Adoration: Praise God for who He is.
Confession: Humbly admit your shortcomings.
Thanksgiving: Express gratitude for His blessings.
Supplication: Make your requests known.
This structure can transform a simple prayer into a rich conversation.
3. Find Your “Prayer Place” and “Prayer Time”
Just like you schedule important meetings, schedule time with God. For some, it is quiet mornings with coffee. For others, it is during a brisk walk around the neighborhood. I have a friend who prays most effectively while she is driving home after dropping off her kids. Find what works for you and protect that space and time. It does not have to be fancy; it just needs to be consistent.
4. Pray Scripture Back to God
Sometimes we do not know what to say. The Bible is full of prayers! Read a Psalm and let it become your own prayer. “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.” (Psalm 23:1) You can personalize it: “Lord, You are my shepherd; I shall not want.” This draws you deeper into God's word and ensures your prayers are aligned with His will.
5. Find a Prayer Partner
There is incredible power in agreement. Ask a trusted friend or mentor if they would be willing to commit to praying for you, and you for them, regularly. Iron sharpens iron, and a faithful prayer partner can lift you up when your own spirit is weary. “Again I assure you that if two of you agree on earth about anything you ask, then my Father who is in heaven will do it for you.” (Matthew 18:19 CEB)
Growing your prayer life is not about perfection; it is about presence. It is about showing up to talk with the One who loves you most. Let us stop trying to operate in our own strength and start engaging in the most powerful spiritual exercise there is!
Kristi Stoughton is the Associate Director of By Design. She is a native of New Hampshire, where she currently resides with her husband Brian in a little lakeside cottage. They take great joy in their two sons, daughter-in-law, and baby granddaughter. As a Christian speaker, Kristi has a passion for people to know God’s love deeply. She is an MDiv student at Fuller Seminary and is enjoying every minute. Kristi loves playing her guitar and singing on her church’s worship team as well as serving with her musical “sister chicks” as the worship team for women’s retreats and other events.