Summer Sampler: Our Challenges, God’s Invitation
Welcome to the Summer Sampler Series! This summer, we are celebrating the beautiful, diverse ways God is working in and through the women in our community. Psalm 107:2 declares, “Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story.” Every week, our Summer Sampler series will feature a different author sharing a personal glimpse into the story God has been writing in her life and ministry lately. These are authentic, honest reflections of faith, encouragement, and everyday ministry experienced “along the way” of regular life. So, grab a cool drink, pull up a chair, and join us this summer as we celebrate His presence in our everyday lives!
By Minnie S. Lee
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.” (John 14:27, NRSV)
Have you ever worked on something persistently and diligently for months, years or even decades to finally come up with a system or routine that works, only to discover one day that it is not working as well as it used to? Have you ever looked back at a decision you had made in confidence that it was God’s will, and later questioned God and yourself if you had heard him right?
As a 53-year-old second-year seminary student, I faced both during my most recent quarter. Midway into it, I started experiencing frequent dizziness and blackouts so severe that I debated dropping out. Having lived with preexisting chronic pain conditions for over 25 years, these recent symptoms threw a wrench into a stable state that I have worked hard to reach.
Scared and bewildered for weeks after numerous doctors’ appointments without clear answers, I asked: “God, was I wrong when I was applying for seminary? I thought I had my health under control! Lord, does this mean you do not want me to pursue a PhD? Should I even finish my current program?” Yes, I also had an audacious goal to complete a doctorate program before I turned 60. Facing my own powerlessness, I started feeling shameful about my plans. Maybe I am too old for this.
The above verse from John 14 is part of Jesus’ “farewell discourse” that spans John 13:31–16:33. It is placed between two scenes of Jesus’ last supper with his disciples and his prayer for his disciples and future followers prior to his arrest. In John 13, this year’s Passover dinner was not like the previous ones. Just several days prior, Jesus was welcomed into Jerusalem as the Messiah for the Jews! Maybe the disciples were expecting this dinner was going to be extra celebratory. Maybe they were excited to see that the years of following him were finally about to “pay off.” But alas, things are going from weird to worse – Jesus washing their feet; betrayal by a fellow teammate, and Jesus talking about his departure, for good!
In the midst of the confusion, what Jesus gives his bewildered disciples, and us, is not clarity through a Q&A session. He says that he is giving us peace that the world cannot give, and if and when we receive it, stressing out and being afraid become unnecessary.
Well, that sounds nice and simple. “Yet, Lord, I am still troubled! So … do you want me to continue my studies or no?” To this, God’s answer was not a yes or a no. Instead, I sensed a kind yet stern counsel: “If you are going to do this for the rest of your life, then you will have to change your approach.”
Pause.
You might feel stuck, but your challenge might actually be a gateway to his invitation instead of a roadblock to get rid of.
In my days of fear and doubt, the peace of Jesus came as an unexpected pause for a new vision. Whatever used to serve to get through my schoolwork (as well as my past career) was no longer serving me. Moreover, this time, the change I needed to make was not an incremental adjustment but a 180-degree reversal. I had my doubts and it took some getting used to, but much to my surprise, over time my dizziness got a lot more manageable. I found myself not as stressed out about all the things I had to do and just saw them as they were – just things to work on, nothing more or nothing less.
You might be going through a season of challenges right now. You might feel stuck, but your challenge might actually be a gateway to his invitation instead of a roadblock to get rid of. How might God be trying to show you his peace right where you are? His peace is his way of seeing and living, with all of our constraints. The peace that we try to conjure up for ourselves or what the world sells us is not going to do it – it will only try to silence or distract us. But Jesus’ peace welcomes our bewilderment, fears, questions, and complaints. Let his peace, already given to us, guide you and surprise you into his new ways. Our limits cannot stop him.
Minnie S. Lee is currently a full-time student at Fuller Theological Seminary, pursuing an MA in Theological Studies. She is in a liminal space between her former assignments as Bible teacher, business advisor, and health & personal finance coach and a vocational future unknown.
Her vocational assignments have been influenced by her career experience as a strategic and operational finance professional as well as her personal experiences with trauma, chronic pain, singleness, faith (from atheist to Christian), and stewardship. She is passionate about helping people and organizations get launched and overcome seasons of crises as they grow.
Minnie is Korean by birth and American by citizenship. She currently resides in San Francisco, her home since 2011.
You can find her on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/minnielee/