Summer Sampler: The Grass is Always Greener
Welcome to the Summer Sampler Series! This summer, we are celebrating the beautiful, diverse ways God is working in and through the women in our community. Psalm 107:2 declares, “Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story.” Every week, our Summer Sampler series will feature a different author sharing a personal glimpse into the story God has been writing in her life and ministry lately. These are authentic, honest reflections of faith, encouragement, and everyday ministry experienced “along the way” of regular life. So, grab a cool drink, pull up a chair, and join us this summer as we celebrate His presence in our everyday lives!
By Amy Dirkx
Do you ever wonder if your neighbor’s dog peers through your adjoining fence and says to himself, “Man, the grass sure looks greener over there”? Or maybe, as you walk with your shaggy dog down the street, she glances at the freshly groomed poodle walking by and thinks to herself, “Boy, I wish I looked like that. Why can’t I get a fancy haircut? After all, it IS summer, and I’m already hot!”
While I cannot say with 100% certainty, my guess is no. Our friendly neighborhood pooches are not comparing themselves with one another; neither are our cats, horses, or guinea pigs. It seems humans are the only living creatures who fall into the comparison trap. And this act of comparison is where the roots of envy begin to take hold.
We see the idea of envy emerge very early in the Bible. In Genesis 3:1-6, the serpent tempts Eve by comparing her status with God’s. We also see Cain comparing his offering with Abel’s, which was favored by God. The result of both of these was death. Now, if I am honest, I have struggled with comparison and envy most of my life. And with it, the “death” of joy, peace, and contentment. While I hate to admit it, apparently I’m not alone.
Interestingly, I didn’t seem to compare myself with others often while growing up, but, when I was in my mid-20s, I moved across the country from NH to CA. Life was a struggle, and EVERYONE seemed to be “keeping up with the Joneses.” I didn’t even know who the Joneses were, but I started comparing my life with their houses, cars, jewelry, family trips … EVERTHING. The more I compared, the more envious I became. And envy was not very becoming. I found myself angry at people when I would see their posts on social media. I would unfollow just so I didn’t have to see their smiling faces on the sandy beaches in Hawaii. I certainly wouldn’t offer a kind comment or a thumbs-up. I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
Why? Because out of the root of envy grew a tree of bitterness. No matter how great my life was, I was always dissatisfied. My husband picked up on it and brought it to my attention one day. It made him feel sad that I was never content. It wasn’t until I moved back to NH 20 years later that I was able to see what was actually happening inside of me. I remembered that Paul had written about being content in every situation, whether in need or plenty. 1 Timothy 6:6-8 highlights that godliness with contentment is true wealth. It wasn’t about what I possessed. It was about being satisfied with what I had. I knew I had to address this sin in my life.
It seems humans are the only living creatures who fall into the comparison trap. And this act of comparison is where the roots of envy begin to take hold.
I had heard about Gratitude Journaling but had never done it. Then, in 2024, I herniated a disc in my back and was down for the count. After several months in excruciating pain, I had back surgery. The Lord used that time to speak to my heart about my lack of contentment. So, I began with a small journal and a pen. I committed to writing every day (in the morning before all my discontentment had a chance to creep up).
I began to thank God for the little things in my life, things that might otherwise seem insignificant. Then, I began to thank Him for the bigger things, especially those things I tended to take for granted like food, a home, friends, our church, and provision when we definitely had “more month than money.” That was over two years ago and I’ve never stopped!
With each word I wrote having a proper heart posture of gratitude, the Lord blessed my life. While my outward circumstances may not look a whole lot different, my heart certainly does! I asked the Lord to forgive me for my ungrateful spirit and to convict me when I start to go down that comparison road. While I’m not 100% perfect at it, I do know that my joy, peace, and contentment have returned. What a blessing!
If you find yourself in the comparison trap, I recommend getting a notebook or a journal, then writing every day what you are thankful for. Studies show it can take a month or two to truly develop a habit. Don’t give up. Keep at it! We have so many things to be thankful for. With this very simple practice, the Lord will begin to heal your heart from the inside out!
But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. But those that desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.
1 Timothy 6:6-10
Aimee Dirkx is a wife and mother of three boys who has a heart for those who struggle with control and comparison. She loves Jesus deeply and is committed to walking alongside women as they navigate the many stages of life. As a chaplain, Aimee understands everyone is walking around with hurts and hang-ups and longs to see people made whole in body, mind, and soul. Aimee volunteers for a local nonprofit, where she speaks about Suicide Prevention and Awareness. Aimee also loves to speak on the Power of Surrender and the Comparison Trap. After spending 21 years in Southern California, Aimee returned to NH, where she loves hiking and all water sports!
Aimee is also one of our featured speakers in the By Design Speakers Directory. If you are looking for a Christian speaker for your special event, please visit our online directory or contact us to request a hard copy.